King Of All Excuses

Beavis seems the king of working from home. I don’t think I’ve known anyone work from home as much as he does. His excuses often seem strangely worded. Most people will just say “My daughter is poorly” or “I’m getting work done on the house”, you know; simple, straight to the point, and not disclosing personal details.

Last week, at 10am Beavis wrote something like “I have a poorly pip. She was meant to get up at 7 but got up at 9, so I have to work at home”. I had to read it a couple of times to realise that “pip” was presumably his daughter. But then I wondered how he didn’t get her up at 7. If he really couldn’t get her up because she was ill, then surely he would know by 8 that she ain’t going to school, and he ain’t going to work. At 10am, why is Beavis declaring he isn’t coming in, when he knew that long ago that he wasn’t coming in?

His excuse this week was that it was “Pip’s first day at School so I’m taking my parents down. Once they are sorted, then I’ll be back to work as normal”. Again, I had to re-read it a few times to make sense of it. He meant he was taking his daughter and parents to the School. His daughter will stay there, and he will drive his parents back. Now they know where the School is located, they will handle the child-care from now on. The “taking my parents down” phrasing sounded funny, like he is gonna kill them.

However the next day, he is working at home again because he “needs to take care of the bloody parents”. Dammit Beavis, you have really gone and killed them and now you have to bury the bodies.

Also, if Pip hadn’t started going to School, where does she normally go that her illness prevented her from going to? If his parents were free to take her to School, why couldn’t they have looked after her when she was ill? Presumably they did look after her prior to her starting School.

Too many unanswered questions. I think he is lying his way out of his murder spree.

Recently, the Coronavirus has been becoming more prominent. Now there is strong advice that if you show any symptoms, then you need to self-isolate, which means you have to work from home for at least a week. So it was no surprise to me when Beavis declares himself as self-isolating.

I don’t know how he gets away with it. There is no way someone can have such bad luck that he gets impacted by all these personal and family afflictions.