The team is showing unwavering commitment, innovation, resilience, and drive to deliver continuously. I’ve never seen anything like it in the years I’ve been here.
Head of Development
I always say that managers often show a massive disconnect from reality. They seem to praise when the team has performed poorly, and I think this is another case of that. I went through our team’s changes in the last month. Merges are trivial and I don’t really count them as real work, but I’ve included them in the table anyway.
Here is the analysis:
| Name | Merges | Fixes | My View |
| Me | 1 | 4 | I’ve been disappointed in my productivity. However, I haven’t done that bad when compared to everyone else. Additionally, I have got loads of changes in a branch, on hold; awaiting confirmation of actual requirements. |
| Senior Dev | 1 | 11 (mainly small items) | Decent work, but really only cherry picking “quick wins” |
| Colin | 4 (made a massive mess of one of these, made a bit of a mess with another. I think the other two were primarily to teach people how to merge [ironically].) | 5 (I believe 2 of these fixes were issues he created in the other 3) | Colin wasted a lot of time by making a mess of a merge which introduced at least one bug, and he made a mess of one of his other changes. He claims he has been more productive whilst working at home. |
| Colin 2 | 0 | 3 (1 of which was removing an unused using statement) | With only 2 real changes, one of which was small and it didn’t work properly; this is terrible performance. |
| Rob | 0 | 2 | Rob has been real quiet. I think he had a bit of time off work, but still, this is poor |
| Beavis | 0 | 1 | Beavis was primarily just making excuses why he can’t work. To be fair, there was one week where he was doing some other work for another team. |
| Total | 6 | 26 |
So in a month, we haven’t done much work. I’d be interested to calculate what the average amount of fixes developers do each month. It’s a bit meaningless because a fix could take an hour, and another fix could take a week. However, you would think it would average out over a period of time.
I’ve never seen anything like it. I might use that as a recurring phrase from now on.
My manager actually said to me that my efforts “haven’t gone unnoticed”. I didn’t bother to correct him. I think I need to play up the delusion to try and get a promotion. Honesty never got me anywhere before.
Stranger Coding Tings 
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